Waiting for Mr. Right Instead of Sleeping with Mr. Random

My friends do you feel like it's torture waiting for Mr. Right, your one-day husband, but then do you feel empty after sleeping with Mr. Random, any man that isn't your husband? 

Let's talk my friends! What greatness is there to be found, discovered, thoroughly recognized in this season of singleness? Well, the greatness you'll find comes when you fully understand the purpose of singleness. I truly believe God intended this season to be a joyous one and not dreadful, dreary, lonely, and boring as the world paints it. If we think about it, singleness was established in the very beginning when God created Adam. Before God brought Eve to Adam, Adam was with God. Adam was naming the animals in the garden. The period without Eve was Adam's season of singleness. I believe God loved His creation Adam so much that He just wanted to spend time with Adam and wanted Adam to spend time with Him before another person came along and interrupted this precious moment. We can surely take the event of Adam naming the animals in the garden as him working in the kingdom of God. God commanded Adam to name the animals and Adam named the animals. Now honestly can you imagine Adam being in a relationship with Eve and then naming the entire animal kingdom? It would have been a much longer longer longer difficult task for him. For this reason, we need to take on the same position as Adam. We need to solely be about our father's business until the season of singleness transitions into marriage. Nowhere in the bible did it mention that Adam stopped naming the animals and went desperately searching for a wife nor did the bible mention that Adam constantly petitioned God for a mate. The scriptures reveal to us in Genesis chapter 2 that God orchestrated the meeting of Adam and Eve.

I want you to know my single friends that God has so much more in-stored for you then you counting down the years, the days, the minutes, the seconds of you being single. There is so much work for you, just you alone, to do in the Kingdom of God. You are that valuable to God and His kingdom.

For this reason, I must bring to your attention that God is so madly in love with you single woman that He made a number of verses especially dedicated to you. In these scriptures, God is sharing with you the purpose of this season. Isn't that amazing? God never leaves us in the dark about anything. He is so kind and gracious that He always wants us to clearly know what purpose we have in every season for our lives. Let's see what God shares,

1 Corinthians 7:32, 34-35:

 "He (or she) who is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord- how he (or she) may please The Lord...There is a difference between a wife and a virgin (or single woman). The unmarried woman cares about the things of The Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares...about how she may please her husband...& this I say for your own profit...that you may serve The Lord without distractions." 

From the scriptures, we see that the unmarried woman her purpose is to care about how she may please the Lord. We can take it from the scriptures that any man who isn't married to us, some random man we get with who isn't in pursuit to marry us, but is only a temporary fix, we have NO business pleasing. Boyfriends or "friends" don't get husband status, privileges, and perks. Pleasing a man that has made a covenant with you before God and is called your husband, this is the only man that you will have any business pleasing, making him happy in any form. Any other man that comes creeping into your bed and is able to come in and out of your life at his leisure, even if you have kids for him but he still isn't your husband, you have absolutely NO business pleasing him in any form. God's word tells us as single women our purpose is to "care about the things that belong to God that we may be holy in body and in spirit." Sis let's just say as long as we "care about the things that belong to God" our minds won't drift off into impure thoughts and our minds won't be so focused on grabbing the attention of the cute guy at church who just became a new member. These scriptures reveal to us that when we maintain a care for the things that belong to God we maintain being "holy in body and in spirit." This surely makes sense, caring about and actively being a seeker of the things of God reduces the desire and alleviates the temptation to get with a man before the appropriate time. Also, sis by seeing/understanding that your body is holy, meaning you belong to God, you wouldn't allow ole' boy to put his hands all over you and defile you. If he was a true man of God he wouldn't want to make you or himself unholy. Let's think together, in the bible anything considered holy was not allowed to be touched or wrongly used. If we think, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the garden was considered holy, and God commanded Adam and Eve not touch it nor to eat of it. Our tithe, the 10% of our resources, is holy to God. This as well we are commanded not to touch it because our tithe belongs to God (Leviticus 27:30). In the same manner, sis you are holy and you belong to God. No man on boyfriend status, friend status, and/or "promise ring" status should be touching you! Again, you belong to the Lord hun and not that man. These boundaries are set in place by God not to keep us from having fun, but they are present only to help keep us from harm and hardship.  Need we think about Adam and Eve when they broke the boundaries and was it pretty?

Thinking about the scriptures above again, it is clearly stated that there is a difference between the married woman and the virgin or the single woman. We as single women have to proudly accept our position and let the married women do theirs. Last time I was in some kind of a relationship years ago, you can read about it called "My Story," pleasing a man who I wasn't married to, was EXHAUSTING, frustrating, and awkward. There were no rewards and there was nothing there, marriage, promising me that I would get back in return what I put in. 

So my dearest friend the verses above are such a big huge massive invitation from God saying "hey come get to know me." These verses are an "IT'S OK" sign from God stating that you can comfortably accept this PURPOSE that comes with being single, and that purpose is getting to know God "without distractions," understanding how to please Him and not a man. 

With that said, single woman you should no longer have to look for love in all the wrong places if you understand your purpose as single women. Naturally we, God's creations, desire and crave love. We want affirmation. Isn't that what "speaking your love language" is all about? It's simply affirmations that tell you a person loves you, but doesn't God constantly affirm His love to us, even when we think we don't deserve it? So why do we, single women, work so hard to gain love from a man instead of fully receiving the free grandest love that God has given us through His son Jesus? Maybe it's because we haven't fallen in love with Jesus first! We firstly fall in love with the perception of being in a relationship. We fall in love with the event of "falling in love," and we fall in love with a man who isn't ready nor deserving of our heart. 

My friends this is an encouragement to truly fall in love with Jesus first. The Song of Solomon 1:3-4 states, "the virgins (single woman, I like to put it) love you, lead me away, we will run after you." You have to run after God like you would run after, hunt down, and stalk that man on Facebook. When we run after God we can be assured that He will meet us and catch us. Single woman if you run after a man, you will stay running and you will keep running until you learn to run after God, stop picking up the phone to text/call/mess around with Mr. Random, and wait patiently for Mr. Right, a Godly man. There is greatness is waiting for Mr. Right. I know your probably thinking, "What is she talking about. Waiting isn't awesome. All my friends look so happy with their boo and I'm over here without a man & lonely. What is so awesome about being single?" Well, it all has to do with your mindset. Are you thinking of singleness according to the world's standards or God's standards?  Your answer to this question is the very thing that makes the difference. 

Often times we are so pressured by this world, by our friends sadly some of the same faith, and maybe some not of the same faith, to start mustering up some kind of relationship with some kind of guy. And, we at times accept that pressure. I'll admit in the past I have. We give in and we get hooked-up with some random, half-saved, half-delivered, knows/quotes all the scriptures in the bible but strangely/purposely avoids the scriptures about fornication, "Jesus is my homie" pick-up line man. By giving into the pressure and getting with ole' boy, I like to call him Mr. Random, we proudly feel that we have met the requirement of being with someone, but inwardly we know we just settled (sad face). 

My friends I must say I have surely come to find, these relationships outside God's will can never ever satisfy us or alleviate the pressure around us from other people and the world. In all truth, these relationships weren't built on the standards of God in the beginning and they aren't going to continue in it. Do you know why these kind of relationships will never satisfy us or alleviate the pressure? Let me tell you, you are always going to feel the need to meet the next standard in the relationship. 

Side Note: Meeting standards that aren't instituted by God makes me think about the verse in Ecclesiastes 1:8, "The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor the ear filled with hearing." In essence, outside of God's will, you are always going to feel the need to do more. Without the boundaries of God, the sky is the limit, but so are the repercussions. 

So, let's think about this. So your in this God UNpermitted relationship. The next goal of this relationship is when are you two going to kiss? When is he going to be able to touch you, caress you, embrace you for long periods, "make love to you?" Your a couple right? You have to do what couples do. Sure this relationship will satisfy you for a moment. You're no longer deemed as the friend who is single. You have a man now and your not alone. You should be good right? But really are you? Did you meet the world's standards/ Did you meet your friends standards? Yes, you probably did, but most importantly did you meet God's standards? 

Relationships outside God's will only appease a surface desire; they won't hit the core of us. These relationships will leave us still with an unfulfilled part of our hearts. We can tell ourselves that we are okay, but deep down we know that we met a standard that wasn't established by God. We settled by getting with this man. We let our guards down to enjoy a moment of pleasure with him, who truly doesn't deserve our heart, but he wants to enjoy our goods. He's not showing you equal affection. He probably never really told you he loved you, but you told him. You're probably thinking, "maybe if I just sleep with him one more time it will help things!" However, my dearest precious friend I've come to tell you hun it won't help things. He's not going to accept your love, love you properly, respect you and your body rightly because he isn't a Godly man, who I like to call Mr. Right! My encouragement to you my dearest friend is to stay faithful waiting for Mr. Right, and dismiss the moments of sleeping with Mr. Random. Unlike Adam and Eve who were kicked out, God intends for you to stay in the garden of Eden for obeying His commandments. My precious sister/friend allow your husband to find you, the good thing! =)

The Girl Who Wants to Stay in the Garden,
Kayla