Waiting for Mr. Right Instead of Sleeping with Mr. Random

My friends do you feel like it's torture waiting for Mr. Right, your one-day husband, but then do you feel empty after sleeping with Mr. Random, any man that isn't your husband? 

Let's talk my friends! What greatness is there to be found, discovered, thoroughly recognized in this season of singleness? Well, the greatness you'll find comes when you fully understand the purpose of singleness. I truly believe God intended this season to be a joyous one and not dreadful, dreary, lonely, and boring as the world paints it. If we think about it, singleness was established in the very beginning when God created Adam. Before God brought Eve to Adam, Adam was with God. Adam was naming the animals in the garden. The period without Eve was Adam's season of singleness. I believe God loved His creation Adam so much that He just wanted to spend time with Adam and wanted Adam to spend time with Him before another person came along and interrupted this precious moment. We can surely take the event of Adam naming the animals in the garden as him working in the kingdom of God. God commanded Adam to name the animals and Adam named the animals. Now honestly can you imagine Adam being in a relationship with Eve and then naming the entire animal kingdom? It would have been a much longer longer longer difficult task for him. For this reason, we need to take on the same position as Adam. We need to solely be about our father's business until the season of singleness transitions into marriage. Nowhere in the bible did it mention that Adam stopped naming the animals and went desperately searching for a wife nor did the bible mention that Adam constantly petitioned God for a mate. The scriptures reveal to us in Genesis chapter 2 that God orchestrated the meeting of Adam and Eve.

I want you to know my single friends that God has so much more in-stored for you then you counting down the years, the days, the minutes, the seconds of you being single. There is so much work for you, just you alone, to do in the Kingdom of God. You are that valuable to God and His kingdom.

For this reason, I must bring to your attention that God is so madly in love with you single woman that He made a number of verses especially dedicated to you. In these scriptures, God is sharing with you the purpose of this season. Isn't that amazing? God never leaves us in the dark about anything. He is so kind and gracious that He always wants us to clearly know what purpose we have in every season for our lives. Let's see what God shares,

1 Corinthians 7:32, 34-35:

 "He (or she) who is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord- how he (or she) may please The Lord...There is a difference between a wife and a virgin (or single woman). The unmarried woman cares about the things of The Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares...about how she may please her husband...& this I say for your own profit...that you may serve The Lord without distractions." 

From the scriptures, we see that the unmarried woman her purpose is to care about how she may please the Lord. We can take it from the scriptures that any man who isn't married to us, some random man we get with who isn't in pursuit to marry us, but is only a temporary fix, we have NO business pleasing. Boyfriends or "friends" don't get husband status, privileges, and perks. Pleasing a man that has made a covenant with you before God and is called your husband, this is the only man that you will have any business pleasing, making him happy in any form. Any other man that comes creeping into your bed and is able to come in and out of your life at his leisure, even if you have kids for him but he still isn't your husband, you have absolutely NO business pleasing him in any form. God's word tells us as single women our purpose is to "care about the things that belong to God that we may be holy in body and in spirit." Sis let's just say as long as we "care about the things that belong to God" our minds won't drift off into impure thoughts and our minds won't be so focused on grabbing the attention of the cute guy at church who just became a new member. These scriptures reveal to us that when we maintain a care for the things that belong to God we maintain being "holy in body and in spirit." This surely makes sense, caring about and actively being a seeker of the things of God reduces the desire and alleviates the temptation to get with a man before the appropriate time. Also, sis by seeing/understanding that your body is holy, meaning you belong to God, you wouldn't allow ole' boy to put his hands all over you and defile you. If he was a true man of God he wouldn't want to make you or himself unholy. Let's think together, in the bible anything considered holy was not allowed to be touched or wrongly used. If we think, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the garden was considered holy, and God commanded Adam and Eve not touch it nor to eat of it. Our tithe, the 10% of our resources, is holy to God. This as well we are commanded not to touch it because our tithe belongs to God (Leviticus 27:30). In the same manner, sis you are holy and you belong to God. No man on boyfriend status, friend status, and/or "promise ring" status should be touching you! Again, you belong to the Lord hun and not that man. These boundaries are set in place by God not to keep us from having fun, but they are present only to help keep us from harm and hardship.  Need we think about Adam and Eve when they broke the boundaries and was it pretty?

Thinking about the scriptures above again, it is clearly stated that there is a difference between the married woman and the virgin or the single woman. We as single women have to proudly accept our position and let the married women do theirs. Last time I was in some kind of a relationship years ago, you can read about it called "My Story," pleasing a man who I wasn't married to, was EXHAUSTING, frustrating, and awkward. There were no rewards and there was nothing there, marriage, promising me that I would get back in return what I put in. 

So my dearest friend the verses above are such a big huge massive invitation from God saying "hey come get to know me." These verses are an "IT'S OK" sign from God stating that you can comfortably accept this PURPOSE that comes with being single, and that purpose is getting to know God "without distractions," understanding how to please Him and not a man. 

With that said, single woman you should no longer have to look for love in all the wrong places if you understand your purpose as single women. Naturally we, God's creations, desire and crave love. We want affirmation. Isn't that what "speaking your love language" is all about? It's simply affirmations that tell you a person loves you, but doesn't God constantly affirm His love to us, even when we think we don't deserve it? So why do we, single women, work so hard to gain love from a man instead of fully receiving the free grandest love that God has given us through His son Jesus? Maybe it's because we haven't fallen in love with Jesus first! We firstly fall in love with the perception of being in a relationship. We fall in love with the event of "falling in love," and we fall in love with a man who isn't ready nor deserving of our heart. 

My friends this is an encouragement to truly fall in love with Jesus first. The Song of Solomon 1:3-4 states, "the virgins (single woman, I like to put it) love you, lead me away, we will run after you." You have to run after God like you would run after, hunt down, and stalk that man on Facebook. When we run after God we can be assured that He will meet us and catch us. Single woman if you run after a man, you will stay running and you will keep running until you learn to run after God, stop picking up the phone to text/call/mess around with Mr. Random, and wait patiently for Mr. Right, a Godly man. There is greatness is waiting for Mr. Right. I know your probably thinking, "What is she talking about. Waiting isn't awesome. All my friends look so happy with their boo and I'm over here without a man & lonely. What is so awesome about being single?" Well, it all has to do with your mindset. Are you thinking of singleness according to the world's standards or God's standards?  Your answer to this question is the very thing that makes the difference. 

Often times we are so pressured by this world, by our friends sadly some of the same faith, and maybe some not of the same faith, to start mustering up some kind of relationship with some kind of guy. And, we at times accept that pressure. I'll admit in the past I have. We give in and we get hooked-up with some random, half-saved, half-delivered, knows/quotes all the scriptures in the bible but strangely/purposely avoids the scriptures about fornication, "Jesus is my homie" pick-up line man. By giving into the pressure and getting with ole' boy, I like to call him Mr. Random, we proudly feel that we have met the requirement of being with someone, but inwardly we know we just settled (sad face). 

My friends I must say I have surely come to find, these relationships outside God's will can never ever satisfy us or alleviate the pressure around us from other people and the world. In all truth, these relationships weren't built on the standards of God in the beginning and they aren't going to continue in it. Do you know why these kind of relationships will never satisfy us or alleviate the pressure? Let me tell you, you are always going to feel the need to meet the next standard in the relationship. 

Side Note: Meeting standards that aren't instituted by God makes me think about the verse in Ecclesiastes 1:8, "The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor the ear filled with hearing." In essence, outside of God's will, you are always going to feel the need to do more. Without the boundaries of God, the sky is the limit, but so are the repercussions. 

So, let's think about this. So your in this God UNpermitted relationship. The next goal of this relationship is when are you two going to kiss? When is he going to be able to touch you, caress you, embrace you for long periods, "make love to you?" Your a couple right? You have to do what couples do. Sure this relationship will satisfy you for a moment. You're no longer deemed as the friend who is single. You have a man now and your not alone. You should be good right? But really are you? Did you meet the world's standards/ Did you meet your friends standards? Yes, you probably did, but most importantly did you meet God's standards? 

Relationships outside God's will only appease a surface desire; they won't hit the core of us. These relationships will leave us still with an unfulfilled part of our hearts. We can tell ourselves that we are okay, but deep down we know that we met a standard that wasn't established by God. We settled by getting with this man. We let our guards down to enjoy a moment of pleasure with him, who truly doesn't deserve our heart, but he wants to enjoy our goods. He's not showing you equal affection. He probably never really told you he loved you, but you told him. You're probably thinking, "maybe if I just sleep with him one more time it will help things!" However, my dearest precious friend I've come to tell you hun it won't help things. He's not going to accept your love, love you properly, respect you and your body rightly because he isn't a Godly man, who I like to call Mr. Right! My encouragement to you my dearest friend is to stay faithful waiting for Mr. Right, and dismiss the moments of sleeping with Mr. Random. Unlike Adam and Eve who were kicked out, God intends for you to stay in the garden of Eden for obeying His commandments. My precious sister/friend allow your husband to find you, the good thing! =)

The Girl Who Wants to Stay in the Garden,
Kayla 

My Story/My Testimony

What I am going to share with you isn't a "sob" story, but this is a testimony of God's redeeming power and the ability through the Holy Spirit to overcome any situation! Ladies we are not our past, hun you are not your past! I pray that you see how God can restore. This is part 1 of my single journey with the Lord, and it doesn't end here. Until my season of marriage comes, I will frequently share with you all several things I have encountered and how the Lord has directed me. So, this is how my brokenness lead me to God and my triumph over the "boy" stuff. I love you my sisters in Christ or even simply my friends! Girlie know that you are not alone! =) I am praying for you all!

"I was not your first love. You had made boys and the pursuit to have a boyfriend your idols. Kayla you had failed to see me as your pursuit. Now, come and let me be your only pursuit." God spoke this to me some years ago, after leaving a horrible stressful relationship, which was the worst year of my life.

I was broken ladies, broken to the point that all I wanted was God.



I fasted for a whole month. I wanted to reach a place of being redeemed! I wanted to be at the same place in God before I had this little "slip-up," I called it. I wanted to be sure that this time around, in remaining in my season of singleness, I wouldn't make the same silly mistake. "God," I said, crying and dropping to my knees, "I've failed you, my family, and also my-self." Isn't that funny, we think there is a need to have a big grand entry and performance to run-through before coming to God and repenting? Thank God for His grace, love, and mercy, we don't have to do that whole "spill." We can simply ask God to forgive us the minute we sin and, instantly, He forgives.

Well, I felt the presence of the Lord hover around me and I sensed this huge embrace from my Father, I like to call Him that. I felt as if God had given me the hugest hug, as I remained on my knees crying before Him.

What went wrong you may ask, right? Well, ladies let me tell you.

Before this episode, I had my heart set entirely on having a boyfriend and I was missing the importance, impact, and purpose of my season in singleness! I never even knew that the season of singleness existed until this craziest year of my life took place. I figured at some point in my life I was supposed to have a boyfriend. I figured that it would be then, when "I" wanted one.

May I remind you again, did I mention it already? This was the most unsettling, distracting, restless, and uneasy year of my life. Being connected to this young man, it wasn't the will of God and it wasn't the right season, but in my mind, I wanted to have a boyfriend. My heart lusted for the image, the appearance, the idea of being in a relationship and having a boyfriend. I had never ever been in a serious serious relationship before and I thought that now was my time, right? I graduated from high-school, getting ready to head to college, and I had this idea that I needed to have a boyfriend. WRONG IDEA! I hadn't fully committed my heart to God. I had just come out of a sticky situation where I had my heart tied around some guy that took me to the Senior Ball! I thought I was "in love." Ha, total and complete little girl, prince charming, infatuation, can we call it! I began to open my heart too soon to the idea of being in a relationship and I knew it wasn't right. However, I wanted to be in a relationship so bad. I did not realize that I was opening my heart up to be broken.

Everyone warned me about this guy, whom I will soon tell you about, my parents, my family, and GOD! 

I met this young man in my second year of college through an associate, now that should tell you something. I met this guy through an associate? Not a friend? And still even if it was a friend, a Godly friend would prayerfully understand the season you are in and wouldn't bring a temptation your way as such. All in all, to make a long story short. I knew that this guy wasn't a part of God's perfect will for my life. The moment I met him my insides were turning and I didn't feel comfortable. Let's pause, this my dears, I shall say is a great demonstration of the Holy Spirit at work. We have these feelings for a reason! I knew this guy wasn't for me, but again I wanted a boyfriend right? Shaking my head. I sadly ignored the Holy Spirit and everyone else.

For a whole year, I wrestled within inside of myself, knowing that I shouldn't be in this relationship with this guy. He was broken. He needed to be healed from past failed relationships, childhood events, and simply he  needed Christ to help him more than he needed me. Basically we both were not evidently ready to be in a relationship nor were we ready to be in a relationship leading to marriage.

Throughout this whole time, I felt compromised. I did things I thought I would never do. Certain boundaries I had enact were broken. I am still a virgin and thank God. However, other things I had been taught to keep for my husband were robbed. Even though, I was a contributor of these things being robbed, I simply felt like I lost myself in this crazy mess. I was simply too kind and too nice to stand-up for myself.

During the time that I so wanted a boyfriend, I listened and I allowed so many people to place bad seeds in my heart and mind. Everyone was amazed that I was 18 and I had never been kissed before and that I was a virgin and all these things. I allowed so many people to put filthy little dirty seeds into my heart and mind that I begin to feed them. As I fed these little bad seeds, they grew. They grew to the point that I connected with this young man and things I kept for my wedding day were robbed. Never been kissed, oh girlie that was sadly gone! Even though I didn't lose my virginity, this was enough loss for me. I knew I could never get back the statement "Never been kissed" and other things. I was heartbroken. Even in the midst of me giving into my fleshly desires, I always heard the gentle and fatherly voice of God telling me, "Kayla you don't need this. I see you more precious and worthy in my sight compared to how this boy views you. I can offer you more and what I offer you is for eternity."

Ladies I'm telling you, every time I would say or do something, that should have been reserved for my one-day future husband, I felt convicted, ashamed, and dirty! Yes, no matter what kind of sin that ensnares us, we end-up feeling dirty and distant from God. Sin stains, however, I want you to know that it is the blood of Jesus Christ that washes you and makes you whole again! Sin can't have that strong of a hold on you. It has to succumb to the mighty name of Jesus and you know what, you are free!!! 
 
So, yes ladies, a whole year of this internal turmoil and consistent talks with my loving parents and family members, urging me to loose ties with this guy. We were too close. If anything, he was sent our way to be helped spiritually and be healed from his past. My father was a pastor and we had our own ministry. I wanted to help him and of course I couldn't. I wasn't the source or the one who could help him. He needed Jesus just as much as I needed Him!

Eventually, I had enough of this distant, separated, awkward relationship with God. Believe you me, this whole year I still prayed to God, I read my bible, went to church, but I always always always felt convicted! Quite frankly,  I was out of the will of God by being out of season. I was in a God UNpermitted relationship, if I can call it.

New Year's Day 2010 rolled around, as I said it was a complete year, I called him and told him, "I can't do this anymore." I didn't care that it was New Year's day, a new year. I knew this was the perfect opportunity to get my life back on track with God. I didn't want to waste anymore time. I felt the pressure of the conviction and I couldn't stand under the weight of sin anymore. Every morning I woke up or went to sleep, I knew that I was out of fellowship with God. I was living a compromised life. 

After I woke up the next day, from telling him it was over, I went to spend time with God to get things right by repenting again. I repented the day I told the young man it was over. However, I was still heartbroken from the whole situation and I was weeping before the Lord. So, I thought that I was finished. I had officially cut ties with this guy. But NO, I wasn't finished. During my time with God, I had randomly turned to a verse in the bible and I knew that the Father was speaking to my heart through His word. The verse was, James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed." During my time with the Lord, I instantly knew there was one more thing that I needed to do in order to get the healing process started. I needed to have someone to help me, pray with me, and pray for me through this process. I had already confessed my sins to God, but I needed added assistance from one of my sisters in Christ. 

Biggest note: It is important that you have someone to turn to pray with you. As you move forward pursuing God, being solely committed to Him  and being restored, healed, the enemy will try to condemn you and many other thoughts will try to discourage you. However, I say stay strong, lean on God and His love. Also, I encourage you to keep going to a trusted and strong sister in Christ anytime you start to feel the enemy firing you down with thoughts of condemnation, low self-esteem, and anything else that isn't of God. 

So, I went to my loving sister and confessed my sins as the bible says. Again, I wanted to be healed!! I was balling like a baby when I told her. She was such a sister, =) she said "Kayla you really are stressing over nothing." She definitely helped. She helped me to see the things that I was definitely hard on myself about, but she read me verses from the bible that would help me stand against the sins I had fallen prey to. I thank God for her each day because my sister was so helpful to me. 

I confessed to my parents as well. This was the hardest thing. I was definitely close with my parents, like slice bread in a bag, and this situation with the guy had sadly put a very tiny small wedge between us. In my adolescent mind, I thought that this was going to make or break our relationship. Glory to God!! It further MADE our relationship STRONGER! I told them all the areas were I had compromised and started balling again. I so needed their spiritual guidance and wisdom. They were and are my spiritual coverings. I needed them to greatly help restore me and build me back up again. If it weren't for my parents guidance in the word of God and constant love and affection I would have drowned in condemnation and sorrow. My parents always told me God had forgiven me and they did too, but I had the hardest time forgiving myself. Yet, I did! 

I spent time with God again later on that day after talking with my parents. I was so desperate for God. I had a broken spirit and a contrite heart (Psalm 51:7). This the Lord doesn't despise! 

So, I went to God again, balling like a baby! 

And this my friends is where I started! The beginning of this post is a description of when I went to God and He spoke to my heart. This was the beginning of my new pursuit for God and not boys part 1! =D There is more! I want you to know that you DO NOT, again DO NOT, have to feel pressured to fall into the temptation of having a boyfriend sweetheart! With you and God, your a force. You with a boy in the wrong season, you all are simply a distraction to each other! So my friends stay strong, there is more to come! =) You can overcome! You are not your past!

Kayla Landry =)

Somedays I Cry: Woes and Perils of Singleness, Turned into Victories and Triumphs in God

So my dear sisters (group hug), yes I'm a total nerd for like harmony time, intense use of smiley faces, & emocons & such as when you get to know me! At all times, I simply and totally would like everyone to feel as comfortable and as welcomed as I would. Again smiley face :)!

With that said, bare with me my friends this maybe lengthy, but I pray it encourages your heart, showing you how to overcome the most ratchet/discouraging/mistake after mistake/lustful thought/act after lustful thought/act days of singleness, because I have. Somedays are easier than others, but with the help of Christ I make it through them ALL! :)

I can confidently say, although I don't know everything about singleness, one thing that is unveiled, that isn't a mystery, & is here to help us in singleness, is the word of God, the counsel of the most High! How faithful is our God that through His faithfulness, & us earnestly seeking His face, we will never be led astray or hurt. The only time when things become sour in our lives, as single people, are moments when we decide to lean on our understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-7 " trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths). I can testify & say when I allowed God to direct my paths concerning situations/events with guys & heeded wise counsel I had so much peace, rest at night, no anxiety, no thinking how I had to do extensive damage control, & sweeping of my mistakes. Ugh, I'm telling you, I so have had my days, & still at times I always have to, like using a broom, sweep things into God's perspectives before my flesh sweeps situations all out of control. 

The life of a Christian single; it is victorious. But, girlfriend, I'm so honest with you. Somedays I feel weak. Instances, when I don't do everything right as a single Christian person. Sometimes I'm discouraged. I surely admit there are days when I don't feel as spiritual as "Sis. So and So" and I fall into the comparison-trap thinking, "why can't I be like her. She does everything right, and me, well I feel as though my wrong is plastered like a red flag before my eyes." Sis you thought your the only one dealing with those kind of thoughts? :) No ma'am. The bible tells us that the devil," is like a roaring lion seeking whom,[anyone], he can devour." So that means I'm prey to the same thoughts. I'm flesh girl just as you, your best friend, & guess what just as Jesus, when He walked on this pretty green earth. Yet, the greatest thing, because of what Jesus did on the cross, we don't have to live subject to those crazy anti-God sometimes overwhelming thoughts. Through the blood of the lamb & the power of God's word, we are able to defeat the enemy. He and his tactics are under our feet by declaring the name of Jesus. (Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon formed against us shall prosper.")         (Luke 10:19 "I, [Jesus], have given you authority over all the power of the enemy"). 

 I must urgedly say with such convincing truth of God's word, the single woman's life is & should be a journey fully engulfed, fully fascinated, & fully dedicated to seeking God. (1 Corinthians 7: 31-40 "the unmarried woman careth about the things of The Lord that she may be holy")

Now, I'm not saying that the married woman can't be in the same position. Yet, after speaking countless times with married women, some young some old, I've learned that their time is divided, juggling between caring for the precious tender babes & meeting the martial needs of their hard-working bread-winning husband. Therefore, the time with God for the married woman becomes an event of "seize any single free time oppurtunity" before the kids wake up or even before hubby rolls over & asks what's on the menu. This is a very distinctly purposefully different position from the single woman. The single woman can simply wake up &, bam, instantly start praying & begin spending time with God for long periods without interruptions. Again for clarity purposes, there is nothing wrong with the married woman's position, her God-given creation role as a married woman got kicked into gear when she was at the alter, saying "I do." :)

With that said, as single women, we should fully understand the purpose of our season. I think I say it so many times & I'm going to say it again. THE SEASON OF SINGLENESS ISN'T A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED, BUT IT'S A GIFT, A GIFT, ONE MORE TIME, A GIFT TO BE ENJOYED, GLADLY RECIEVED, APPRECIATED, & ACCEPTED WITH GREAT GLADNESS! 

Yes, yes, yes, (jumping up & down) singleness is great, when you view it in God's perspective, viewing singleness according to the world's standard will make you a miserable, sad, desperate, & lust driven single chic! 

Let's talk ladies, how do you enjoy something! There are a few ways to enjoy something, right?! You either make a mental note-to-self or verbally say "this is nice, I think I really enjoy this." It's the same way in enjoying the season of singleness. 

Can I be real, may I be real honest with you, last time I checked I'm a properly functioning single woman as you! :) So many times I use this tactic when I feel the longing for companionship or I start questioning if I should really engage into a relationship, knowing that it's not time yet. Well, I tell myself verbally & I talk/tell God when I'm driving in the car or I'm going to sleep on my bed, "Lord, I appreciate this gift of singleness you have given me. Lord thank you for this oppurtunity I have, drawing closer to you without any interruptions, help me Father to appreciate and enjoy every single second, minute, hour, day, and year as a single person until my time comes for marriage," & instantly I promise you that God begins to speak to my heart & comfort me. 

See, I think we forget how real, alive, authentic, & near God is. He is a person. Let's think, if you have a conversation with someone & your talking to them, when your finish talking, they will quite naturally return feedback or make some form of response based on what you have shared, yes? Girlie, it's definitely the same thing with God. As you speak to God, He will surely speak to you, but in your heart. He will quicken you through His word. The Holy Spirit will bring to your remembrance scriptures that will encourage you and strengthen you based on what you've shared. (John 14:26 "Holy Spirit...will bring all things back to your remembrance that [Christ] has spoken to you.)

For this reason, it's totally important to read the bible so that the Holy Spirit has something to BRING to your remembrance, of what Christ has spoken to you, as a result of you reading His word, the bible, & not just devotionals sweetheart! :) 

As I shared in one example, I spoke to God as if He was my dad. Yet, sometimes I speak to God as if He is my friend, my coolest best friend. I want you to see that I'm experiencing the same events as you are in this single journey as a Christian woman, but it's God that helps me remain controlled & chaste because I want to be as well! It's something you have to want ladies. :) It is possible! 

Moreover, I tell God, "God, like today, I so need the help of Your Holy Spirit & extra strength because my eyes want to wonder & look at some, NO, ALL of the men passing by, but Your word has said to keep my eyes on Jesus [meaning keeping your thoughts pure & holy] & flee youthful lusts. I know by doing this God I'm honoring You & not allowing lust to stir & reside in my heart!" Yeah girlfriend, that's as real & open as I become with God. 

You want to know why I talk to God in this manner?  Well I used to beat myself up, crying because of the mistakes I made, I'd say "I just can't get it right where is the key & answer to success in singleness." Well, praise God I done found it (slang/ebonics intended) :) ! 

I grew in The Lord & in the understanding of who Jesus was to me, Kayla, (smilingly sighs). Through spending time with God & staying in the bible, He helped me realize that in my own human strength I'm unable and can't make it in this life with my own will-power as a single woman. Thus, I humbly and joyfully accepted that I needed Jesus to help me in every every every EVERY area of my life: singleness, relationships with my parents, relationships with my siblings, relationships with friends, niece & nephews, co-workers, I mean the list goes on, but the burden, to be righteous in my own strength, lifted. I now rely on Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit! :)

Communing with God, our father, I believe is so important. Think of it this way, God already knows what's in our hearts whether we share it with Him or not. Thus, I say, why not enrich the relationship with God & verbally communicate with Him. I certainly think God would appreciate it more if we treated Him like a real person, rather than "a something up there that lives in Heaven."

My precious most blessed single sisters, I pray that you see that through the so called "perils" of singleness, there is joy in the end. Why and how? Because God is right there ready to help you & comfort you in those weak, embarrassing, discouraging, you made the same mistake the (n)th time around, & any other type of moment! Your not in this alone! Girl, I say don't even fear singleness or the thought of messing up. God loves us too much & has so much great things instored for us to allow fear to grip our hearts and focus on defeat. God's word says, "Perfect love casts out fear." How much more perfect can God's love get, for the mere fact that He sent His ONLY son, I'd be heartbroken as a parent but He did it=great love, to die on the cross for you so that He can have eternal fellowship communion with you. God wants your time, attention, & most importantly, He wants your heart. I'm telling you, you'll be placing your heart in the right hands! 

Be encouraged, your better days are in front you, & your past is behind you! We are in this journey together with Christ as the leader & His word as a lamp unto our feet and a light to our path!

A Single Girl Just like You & Enjoying This Epic Season with God, 

Kayla :) 

Happy New Year Encouragement

Happy New Years to everyone! Blessings to you :)! 

For the SINGLE WOMAN :D!  It's a new year to start everything over, set things right, and fulfill or begin working towards dreams and visions you have, right?!? Well to my dear single women, start the new year knowing that God is your motivator and not a man! It's so easy to believe that "flesh" can ultimately and solely provide us with the greatest support, strength, and motivation in life to accomplish all that we desire to do. Yet, God wants to first have that place in your life where you are seeking for a man to fill! Even when you seem weary throughout this year accomplishing certain tasks before you, recognize that God can re-motivate you to complete it! 

It says in Isaiah that God, "will renew your strength like the eagles, when you walk you will not faint, when you run you will not become weary." So in essence God is your greatest support, refresher, back-bone, "who got yo' back," for the new year, throughout the year, and the best part FOREVER!

 Single woman know that God wants you crazy in love with Him, let Him be your first thought when you rise in the morning! Challenge yourself to stay committed to God this year and see how you will grow leaps and bounds in His word and in faith! 

Distractions may come, but remember the ultimate goal you have. You want to grow leaps and bounds in God! 

Girlfriend, you have to be fully persuaded that this moment and season of singleness is worthwhile! Guess what, I can testify it is! Even if family members or outside entities ask, "Do you have a boyfriend, are you seeing someone?", be firm and strong in your answer and say with a smile,"Nope I'm enjoying my time seeking God and getting to know Him." 

Throughout this time of seeking God, the Lord will change your perspective of marriage into His perspective! Marriage isn't simply about you being gratified. Marriage isn't about you having legal intimacy (sex). Yes, God says in Hebrews 14:3 that the marriage bed is undefiled, however, this isn't the complete purpose of marriage. If this is your mindset, then honey child you have more to learn in this season. 

Marriage is about giving of one's self. The bible makes that very clear when it says the "two shall become one." In order to become one, there has to be a compromise and a denying of yourself.  Life stops revolving around you and now revolves around you being a help meet to your husband, as you do it unto the Lord! Life is no longer about your agenda, as it was when you were single. Your husbands agenda now becomes your agenda! You are now to submit to your husband as you would to the Lord. 

Therefore, it is so important to take the season of singleness seriously. There is much to be learned. You don't want to be the Unbaked single woman going into marriage, you want to be the Fully baked single woman ready for marriage. I'll discuss the Unbaked vs. Baked Single Woman in a blogpost coming soon. 

Enjoy being single, marriage will come and be forever. Singleness is a season; marriage isn't, your committed for a lifetime! God bless you and I'm praying for you girl! :D

Your sister and friend, 

Kayla