With that said, bare with me my friends this maybe lengthy, but I pray it encourages your heart, showing you how to overcome the most ratchet/discouraging/mistake after mistake/lustful thought/act after lustful thought/act days of singleness, because I have. Somedays are easier than others, but with the help of Christ I make it through them ALL! :)
I can confidently say, although I don't know everything about singleness, one thing that is unveiled, that isn't a mystery, & is here to help us in singleness, is the word of God, the counsel of the most High! How faithful is our God that through His faithfulness, & us earnestly seeking His face, we will never be led astray or hurt. The only time when things become sour in our lives, as single people, are moments when we decide to lean on our understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-7 " trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths). I can testify & say when I allowed God to direct my paths concerning situations/events with guys & heeded wise counsel I had so much peace, rest at night, no anxiety, no thinking how I had to do extensive damage control, & sweeping of my mistakes. Ugh, I'm telling you, I so have had my days, & still at times I always have to, like using a broom, sweep things into God's perspectives before my flesh sweeps situations all out of control.
The life of a Christian single; it is victorious. But, girlfriend, I'm so honest with you. Somedays I feel weak. Instances, when I don't do everything right as a single Christian person. Sometimes I'm discouraged. I surely admit there are days when I don't feel as spiritual as "Sis. So and So" and I fall into the comparison-trap thinking, "why can't I be like her. She does everything right, and me, well I feel as though my wrong is plastered like a red flag before my eyes." Sis you thought your the only one dealing with those kind of thoughts? :) No ma'am. The bible tells us that the devil," is like a roaring lion seeking whom,[anyone], he can devour." So that means I'm prey to the same thoughts. I'm flesh girl just as you, your best friend, & guess what just as Jesus, when He walked on this pretty green earth. Yet, the greatest thing, because of what Jesus did on the cross, we don't have to live subject to those crazy anti-God sometimes overwhelming thoughts. Through the blood of the lamb & the power of God's word, we are able to defeat the enemy. He and his tactics are under our feet by declaring the name of Jesus. (Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon formed against us shall prosper.") (Luke 10:19 "I, [Jesus], have given you authority over all the power of the enemy").
I must urgedly say with such convincing truth of God's word, the single woman's life is & should be a journey fully engulfed, fully fascinated, & fully dedicated to seeking God. (1 Corinthians 7: 31-40 "the unmarried woman careth about the things of The Lord that she may be holy")
Now, I'm not saying that the married woman can't be in the same position. Yet, after speaking countless times with married women, some young some old, I've learned that their time is divided, juggling between caring for the precious tender babes & meeting the martial needs of their hard-working bread-winning husband. Therefore, the time with God for the married woman becomes an event of "seize any single free time oppurtunity" before the kids wake up or even before hubby rolls over & asks what's on the menu. This is a very distinctly purposefully different position from the single woman. The single woman can simply wake up &, bam, instantly start praying & begin spending time with God for long periods without interruptions. Again for clarity purposes, there is nothing wrong with the married woman's position, her God-given creation role as a married woman got kicked into gear when she was at the alter, saying "I do." :)
With that said, as single women, we should fully understand the purpose of our season. I think I say it so many times & I'm going to say it again. THE SEASON OF SINGLENESS ISN'T A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED, BUT IT'S A GIFT, A GIFT, ONE MORE TIME, A GIFT TO BE ENJOYED, GLADLY RECIEVED, APPRECIATED, & ACCEPTED WITH GREAT GLADNESS!
Yes, yes, yes, (jumping up & down) singleness is great, when you view it in God's perspective, viewing singleness according to the world's standard will make you a miserable, sad, desperate, & lust driven single chic!
Let's talk ladies, how do you enjoy something! There are a few ways to enjoy something, right?! You either make a mental note-to-self or verbally say "this is nice, I think I really enjoy this." It's the same way in enjoying the season of singleness.
Can I be real, may I be real honest with you, last time I checked I'm a properly functioning single woman as you! :) So many times I use this tactic when I feel the longing for companionship or I start questioning if I should really engage into a relationship, knowing that it's not time yet. Well, I tell myself verbally & I talk/tell God when I'm driving in the car or I'm going to sleep on my bed, "Lord, I appreciate this gift of singleness you have given me. Lord thank you for this oppurtunity I have, drawing closer to you without any interruptions, help me Father to appreciate and enjoy every single second, minute, hour, day, and year as a single person until my time comes for marriage," & instantly I promise you that God begins to speak to my heart & comfort me.
See, I think we forget how real, alive, authentic, & near God is. He is a person. Let's think, if you have a conversation with someone & your talking to them, when your finish talking, they will quite naturally return feedback or make some form of response based on what you have shared, yes? Girlie, it's definitely the same thing with God. As you speak to God, He will surely speak to you, but in your heart. He will quicken you through His word. The Holy Spirit will bring to your remembrance scriptures that will encourage you and strengthen you based on what you've shared. (John 14:26 "Holy Spirit...will bring all things back to your remembrance that [Christ] has spoken to you.)
For this reason, it's totally important to read the bible so that the Holy Spirit has something to BRING to your remembrance, of what Christ has spoken to you, as a result of you reading His word, the bible, & not just devotionals sweetheart! :)
As I shared in one example, I spoke to God as if He was my dad. Yet, sometimes I speak to God as if He is my friend, my coolest best friend. I want you to see that I'm experiencing the same events as you are in this single journey as a Christian woman, but it's God that helps me remain controlled & chaste because I want to be as well! It's something you have to want ladies. :) It is possible!
Moreover, I tell God, "God, like today, I so need the help of Your Holy Spirit & extra strength because my eyes want to wonder & look at some, NO, ALL of the men passing by, but Your word has said to keep my eyes on Jesus [meaning keeping your thoughts pure & holy] & flee youthful lusts. I know by doing this God I'm honoring You & not allowing lust to stir & reside in my heart!" Yeah girlfriend, that's as real & open as I become with God.
You want to know why I talk to God in this manner? Well I used to beat myself up, crying because of the mistakes I made, I'd say "I just can't get it right where is the key & answer to success in singleness." Well, praise God I done found it (slang/ebonics intended) :) !
I grew in The Lord & in the understanding of who Jesus was to me, Kayla, (smilingly sighs). Through spending time with God & staying in the bible, He helped me realize that in my own human strength I'm unable and can't make it in this life with my own will-power as a single woman. Thus, I humbly and joyfully accepted that I needed Jesus to help me in every every every EVERY area of my life: singleness, relationships with my parents, relationships with my siblings, relationships with friends, niece & nephews, co-workers, I mean the list goes on, but the burden, to be righteous in my own strength, lifted. I now rely on Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit! :)
Communing with God, our father, I believe is so important. Think of it this way, God already knows what's in our hearts whether we share it with Him or not. Thus, I say, why not enrich the relationship with God & verbally communicate with Him. I certainly think God would appreciate it more if we treated Him like a real person, rather than "a something up there that lives in Heaven."
My precious most blessed single sisters, I pray that you see that through the so called "perils" of singleness, there is joy in the end. Why and how? Because God is right there ready to help you & comfort you in those weak, embarrassing, discouraging, you made the same mistake the (n)th time around, & any other type of moment! Your not in this alone! Girl, I say don't even fear singleness or the thought of messing up. God loves us too much & has so much great things instored for us to allow fear to grip our hearts and focus on defeat. God's word says, "Perfect love casts out fear." How much more perfect can God's love get, for the mere fact that He sent His ONLY son, I'd be heartbroken as a parent but He did it=great love, to die on the cross for you so that He can have eternal fellowship communion with you. God wants your time, attention, & most importantly, He wants your heart. I'm telling you, you'll be placing your heart in the right hands!
Be encouraged, your better days are in front you, & your past is behind you! We are in this journey together with Christ as the leader & His word as a lamp unto our feet and a light to our path!
A Single Girl Just like You & Enjoying This Epic Season with God,
Kayla :)
